Winners = Losers??? Only in Miami

Not only were the Miami Heat proud recipients of a 5 game losing streak (before beating the Lakers Thursday night) but the bright and resourceful management team at a local bar in Hollywood, Florida felt it would be a good idea to use the “Miami Dream Team” as a marketing ploy to bring in more patrons.

His plan:

Pick up the bar tab for patrons if the Heat lost a game. All the fans would need to do is show up 30 minutes before the game and stay until the conclusion to get a $25 bar bill credit. Are you serious? 

   

Ask Lebron and I'm sure he'd say.... "That was just dumb"

Ask Coach Spoelstra and I'm sure he'd say.... "That was just dumb"

You could even ask Kanye and even he would say..... "That was just dumb"

Even CHARLIE SHEEN would say... "That was just dumb"

Unfortunately for the bar owners, it was a dumb idea indeed. The Heat have not lived up to their pre-season hype as of yet, and reports from CNBC state that $5,600 in bar tabs were cleared after a five-point loss to the Knicks on Feb. 27, and $4,000 in bar tabs following the opening night loss to the Celtics.. CNBC reports the losses have amounted to the $85,000 range over the season so far. (full story here)

So imagine the surprise fans received Thursday night when their beloved Heat beat the Lakers, since they haven’t had to pay for a drink in about two weeks… I am sure the bar had some people who wanted the Heat to lose for the sake of a free bar tab.

But hey, whatever it takes as long as you are bringing bodies into the bar right fellas? How about you have Juwan Howard come by and tell old Fab-Five stories? I bet that would be a cheaper way to get some people in there…

-Slim

Way-Back Wednesday 3/9/11 Edition

MUSIC - 101 (My B.I.G. Top Ten)

What better way to kick off the music section of my blog, than by recognizing one of, if not the “Baddest Boy” of hip-hop 14 years from the day he took his last breath on this Earth….

Christopher Wallace - AKA Biggie Smalls, Notorious B.I.G., Big Poppa, Frank White 

(May 21, 1972 – March 9, 1997)

I will never forget sitting I my old Nissan Maxima rocking my first Biggie tape. 

Yeah, that’s the one…. but mine was on chrome...

I eventually bought the CD 3 times afterwards, since you can’t let anyone borrow a Biggie tape and expect to get it back. 

I even remember one Sunday my boy Chris Gaines, Mike, and I were riding to the park after church and this album was on full repeat. There were only a few albums I could do that too, Reasonable Doubt, Illmatic, and Nevermind (that’s the Nirvana album for those of you who aren’t diversified).  

  

Before long, this dude became a household name. His songs were on TV, Movies, and I even remember seeing him perform on New York Undercover.

But what really got me is when he was on Martin when Gina and Pam were trying to out-sing each other so he could discover them. 

I am not going to go into what happened when he died or his story because I am sure everyone has either seen the movie or heard a different version a thousand times. 

All I am going to do is pay a lil respect by laying out 10 songs he was on that kept making me press rewind, simply because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. 

So let's get started.....

10 - All About the Benjamins Remix – With Diddy, The Lox, and Lil Kim (No Way Out - 1997)

 “F’ the state penn, F’ hoes in Penn State…..”

Even though this video was shot after he had passed away, you already knew his flow wasn’t going to be forgotten.

9 - Brooklyn’s Finest – With Jay Z (Reasonable Doubt – 1996)

 “If Fey' had twins, she'd probably have two Pacs. Get it? Tu-pac's?”  

You could easily tell that these two were on one level while the others were merely trying to catch up. 

8 - Get Money – With Lil Kim/Junior M.A.F.I.A. (Conspiracy – 1995)

 “you sent feds to my spot, took me to court tried to take all I got, another intricate plot
the b’  said I raped her.. Damn, why she wanna stick me for my paper?”

Simply ridiculous. Should I really comment on this? He needs to know why she wanna stick him for his paper!!!

7 - Warning – (Ready to Die – 1994)

There’s gonna be a lot of slow singing, and flower bringing if my burglar alarm starts ringing….”

 

This is one of my favorites of all time. Listening to this in the locker room before a football game was all I needed…. 

6 - Da B Side – With Da Brat and JD (Bad Boys Soundtrack - 1995)

“..no human being, Korean or European be seeing what we be seeing, now they be peeing
in they draws, because Biggie Smalls will spark a weed, brat-tat-tat please speak”  

This was one of BIG’s classics, and is constantly overlooked by these new age hip-hop heads.

5 - Everyday Struggle – (Ready to Die – 1994)

“I had the master plan I’m in a caravan on my way to Maryland with my man Tutex to take over these projects. They call him Tutex he tote two techs, and when he starts to bust he likes to ask who’s next…”

 Like I knew what an everyday struggle was at 16 years old in Alabama. It didn’t matter, I’d just let BIG tell me all about it…. 

4 - Sky’s The Limit – With 112 (Life After Death – 1997)

“If the game shakes me or breaks me, I hope it makes me a better man. Take a better stand
Put money in my moms hand. Get my daughter this college plan, so she don't need no man”

Instant motivational classic with one of the best videos ever made. Yes I said EVER.

3 - Who Shot Ya – (Big Poppy Remix - B Side Release - 1994)

“I can hear sweat trickling down your cheek. Your heartbeat sound like Sasquatch feet, thundering, shaking the concrete…” 

Controversial? 

A shot at 2Pac? 

A Fire Back at the West Coast? 

Does it even matter???? This was one of the craziest flows he put on tape.  

2- JUICY – 1994 (Ready To Die - 1994)

“Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis, when I was dead broke man I couldn’t picture this….”

This can arguably be considered rap’s number 1 anthem. Anyone who calls themselves a rap connoisseur will know this song from beginning to end. If you are reading this, you are probably singing it in your head right now.  

Even thought a lot of the new rap fans probably don’t even know what a Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis is….

1 - Party and B.S. (Who’s The Man Soundtrack – 1993)

A party song that summed up everything you needed to know about Party and BS. The video was hot because it is a simple street video. No crazy budgets, no girls shaking in the background, no champagne popping all over the place….  Just a fun video 

That's it for me and mine.... I guess it’s time for me to jump into the hot tub time machine and get back to 2011. 

R.I.P. Christopher Wallace - Happy Biggie Day. 

-Slim

WEEKEND WRAP - 3/7/11 Edition

So what went down this weekend….

• This Weekend's Cry Baby Status goes to the Miami Heat after losing to the Chicago Bulls 87-86 Sunday night, and when I say cry-baby status, I mean cry-baby status.
  
  
  
  How can the coach go on camera and tell that a few of the Heat players were in tears after the loss. Now, I will admit that it does feel good to hear that NBA players are emotional after losses in the regular season and not just the playoffs, but Man Law states that one man doesn't broadcast whats going on in the locker room, nevertheless tell that another man was crying about ANYTHING!!!!
  
  
  But with all of that being said, it was D-Wade’s post game comment that stole the show.
  "The Miami Heat are exactly what everyone wanted, losing games," Wade said. "The world is better now because the Heat is losing." said Wade via the Associated Press.
  
  
  This comment sent me to “DMDAROTFLHAMKSIF” status. Oh, that would be "Drop My Drink and Roll on the Floor Laughing Hysterically as my Kids Stare in Fear" status.  Is this coming from one of the Miami 3 that were posing and fronting on stage like Run DMC and Aerosmith?
  
  
  
  
  Or did this come from one of the three that look like a ghetto-ass version of the Holy Trinity??? 
  
  
  
  Are you really surprised that people outside of the Miami Heat faithful want you to lose games? 4 losses won’t kill a season, but the more you talk like that, the more people will want to see the Heat get drilled on a consistent basis. I just hope they don't actually implode simply because I like D-Wade's game and LeBron is a beast. But the last time the world came to a stand-still for something this big was St. Ides introduction of their Special Brew line of fruit flavored malt liquor.  I mean whats not to like about 40 ounces of smooth cherry flavored malt liquor??? Even 2Pac and Snoop was down with this when it hit the stores.
  
  
  
  However, that nasty mess seemed to fall off the face of the earth soon after it was released as it left an after taste that would make Bilal's breath from House Party smell minty fresh. Let's just hope the Heat don't reach "Special-Brew-Bilal-Breath" status....
  
  
• This Weekend's Definition of Gangsta: The AP reported that In India, an angry mob of fired workers found one of their former senior executives, trapped him in his car, doused it with gasoline, and set the car on fire killing him. To show that they actually thought this through and have a conscious, they allowed two passengers to escape the vehicle before killing the executive.  Now I have seen some individuals highly upset after being fired, but to set someone on fire for it…… I need to channel @MrEdLover and get a C’monSon!!! Now that’s Gangsta.
  
  
  
  By the way, you need to check out Cmonsonline and follow Ed @MrEdLover on Twitter - classic.
  
  
• This Weekend’s Strangest Trending Item: #Hennessey and Apple Juice. Really Henn and Apple Juice? I was introduced to Henn in Nashville as a freshman in college, and it could only be consumed two ways… Straight up in a sniffer… or Straight up out the bottle (I preferred gripping my own bottle.) Now it’s being mixed with apple juice??? If that’s the case, these babies may as well put on a bib and snack on some Gerber while they’re at it.  Hell next it will be mixed with Tahitian Treat.
  
  
  
  
  Don't act like you don't know what Tahitian Treat is. Every corner store had this for 99 cents!!!   
  
  
• This Weekend's Realest Trending Item: #manlawmondays - Simply the best topic to start your week. I will say there have been interesting laws put into play recently. 
  
  My Man Law Monday contribution.... will be Man Law# 382 - NO FORM OF CONTACT IN PUBLIC RESTROOMS... DAPS, POUNDS, PATS ON THE BACK, CONGRATULATORY HANDSHAKES, etc. can wait until all zippers are zipped, hands are washed (WITH SOAP) and dried, and everyone has made their way back into the hallway.  #MANLAWCERTIFIED 
  
  
  
  Women would be (or probably wouldn't be) surprised at how many men shake it, zip it, and walk straight out of the bathroom. However, i feel that they are not worse than those men who shake, zip, then run water over their hands and shake them off before walking out the door. What, is each of the 13 soap dispensers around the sinks broken????  Lazy or just Nasty... neither have any place in a public restroom.

As we put the wrap on this past weekend, I will leave you with some sound advice.... KEEP YOUR @SSES at Home. With gas going to about $11.50 a gallon, it would be wise to pass up driving anywhere unless you are like this guy:

Oh, you say you were getting ready to plan for a date, just take it back to 85 when you and your girl would just sit on the phone for 6 hours listening to each other breathe while occasionally saying "You there?" 

Who needs Clark Howard??? I just saved you Movies, Gas, Dinner, and Drink money... now you can use the money to pay that old Sprint bill you forgot about that has been haunting your credit for about 10 years now.

It seemed like everybody used to have this Sprint phone in their pocket or purse at one point in their life.

#HollaBack