FIVE TO THE FACE: College Football Picks – Week 2 (Part II)

I can’t be suckered into the “Tom Foolery” that the media wants us to believe. For instance; I heard Kirk Herbstriet all but say that Penn State may hand Alabama an upset this Saturday. This is the same person that said Oregon was going to win the National Championship…. You can cancel that too Herbs.

I also see that Notre Dame is favored over Michigan this week. Really? First home game under the lights in the history of the Wolverines and the media believes in the inept Irish? Why in the hell were they ranked to begin with?

Notre Dame (along with UGA) being ranked in the preseason top 20 made as much sense as a scared Boomhauer calling 911.

Let’s get to the picks:

#16 Mississippi St. vs. Auburn
Line: Mississippi St (-6.5)
Utah State… Yooo Taaah State! Oh that was last week.  Auburn welcomes the school that initiated “Cam-Gate”, and would like to practice a lil but whippin for some sweet revenge. It just ain’t going to happen. Take Mississippi laying the 6.5. #16 Mississippi State 30 – Auburn 13  

#23 Penn St. vs. #3 Alabama
Line: Alabama (-10)
It’s going to be rowdy in Happy Valley. I hope that Bama nation is ready for a hostile environment. It’s not like they don’t play in the Swamp, the Plains, or under the lights in Death Valley. 

Yeah if you can win in Death Valley, I like your chances in Happy Valley.  Take Bama giving the 10. #3 Alabama 31 – #23 Penn State 14

#12 South Carolina vs. Georgia
Line: South Carolina (-3)
The only thing Spurrier hates worse than missing a 7am tee-time is UGA, and he is going to exercise his muscle this week. Historically Spurrier’s Gator teams would not only beat a team physically, but mentally by putting Playstation numbers on the scoreboard.

Richt is officially in trouble Sunday morning. Take uSC laying the easy 3. #12 South Carolina 42 – Georgia 24

Arizona State vs. #21 Missouri
Line: Arizona State (-7.5)
What better way to spend a Friday night in the desert than to watch a shootout with a bunch of inebriated co-eds. 

I mean I'm just asking, I'll be watching this one with the wifey. 

This one will be a good one to watch nevertheless. I believe Arizona State will win this one, but it will be closer than the spread gives. Take Missouri with the points. Arizona State 27 - #21 Missouri 23

Michigan vs. Notre Dame
Line: Notre Dame (-3.5)
I still don’t understand why people are so infatuated with the golden domers. Do people think Michigan fell off from last year, or do they thing Notre Dame is that much better?

Remember what Denard Robinson did to you in Your House?

Do you really believe they are going to go into Ann Arbor and lay 3 and a half points, and come away covering the spread? You are smart one if your answer is No. A couple of early Notre Dame turnovers and this could get ugly. I’m taking Michigan straight up. Michigan 31 – Notre Dame 17

Jack, Coke and my trusty remote….. I’m ready for another Saturday. 

FIVE TO THE FACE: College Football Picks – Week 2 (Part I)

- Slim

FIVE TO THE FACE: College Football Picks – Week 2 (Part I)

The second week of college football kicks off tonight with Arizona traveling to Oklahoma State, but it will have to share time with the N.O./Green Bay game tonight

Before I review my 5 for this weekend, allow me to revisit the picks for week 1.

South Florida at #16 Notre Dame - Line: Notre Dame (-10.5)
My Prediction: USF with the points - Notre Dame 24 – South Florida 21
Actual Score: USF 23 – ND 20

I had a feeling that South Florida would win, but I wouldn’t have put money on it. But after watching that mess…. 

Notre Dame’s play looks like “Mildew over Boo-Boo”. Michigan is gonna dust them under the lights Saturday. Don't act surprised Coach Kelly. You knew they were sorry before you took the job.



#5 Boise State vs. #19 Georgia - Line: Boise State (-3.5)
My Prediction: UGA straight up - #19 Georgia 24 - #5 Boise State 23
Actual Score: BSU 35 – UGA 21
Damn, I guess this means we are going to have to hear this Boise in the BCS mess all year long…. AGAIN! 

#4 LSU vs. #3 Oregon  - Line: Oregon (-4)
My Prediction: LSU straight up -  #4 LSU 21 - #3 Oregon 17
Actual Score: LSU 40 – Oregon 27

Was anyone outside Eugene, Oregon surprised? I wasn’t expecting 40, especially with “Pick-6 Lee” at QB.

#8 Texas A&M vs. SMU - Line: Texas A&M (-15.5)
My Prediction: Texas A&M laying the points  - #8 Texas A&M 35 – SMU 10
Actual Score: TA&M 46 – SUM 14

Welcome to the SEC Aggies. It will be interesting to see how your final year of Big 12, 11, 10, 9 will pan out. Look forward to that meeting with Baylor. 

Maryland Unis vs. Two-Face - No One Wins.

Miami at Maryland - Line: Maryland (-3)
My Prediction: Miami straight up - Miami 31 – Maryland 17
Actual Score: Maryland 32 – The U 24

This is NOT the U that I remember. I blame those traffic accident jerseys Maryland were wearing. You can't tell if its a Maryland football player, or that crazy dude from the old school Batman cartoons.

Better yet, I blame the removal of Shapiro. If I was able to go on yacht trips, pop bottles every weekend, and find $100 stacks in my locker after games…. And all of it disappeared…. I would need a game or two to get my mind together as well. 

Record this week: 3-2
Record for the year: 3-2

FIVE TO THE FACE: College Football Picks – Week 2 (Part II)

-Slim

Another Hip Hop Top Ten (The "Kid-Teen" Rapper Version)

DAMN, I am getting old…..

I was watching Nickelodeon with my daughter and now I’m all stuck on Victorious, iCarly, and the wifey has me watching Big Time Rush. Now I can’t front, I am somewhat hooked to the shows, but there is one drawback that I can’t seem to get over…..

…….. the constant singing.

Even during the commercial breaks, there are music videos featuring…. You guessed it, the stars from Victorious, iCarly, and Big Time Rush. 

I remember shows like Hey Dude, Salute Your Shorts, Clarissa Explains it All, and the infamous You-Can’t-Do-That-On-Television. 

The best thing about these shows was the slime and the absence of impromptu concerts. They wouldn’t be on kids bop or “T-Painin’” it auto-tune style.

We also didn’t have kids stealing their grandparents’ cars, joyriding with friends who “smoke with cigarettes” – See Latarian Milton 

But what we did have back then was true.

We had kids who broke up over girls using a loli-pop and a letter.
We had kids who made you Jump.
We had kids that deserved mad props.
We even had kids who represented Wu Tang to the fullest.

Here are my top 10 videos of the teens/kids I remember best. 

10) Another Bad Creation – Iesha
I had my personal Iesha, but I broke up with her just because I wanted to tell my boys I gave her a lolli-pop and a letter. She was so pretty. I was so dumb.

9) Shyheim – On and On

8) Illegal – We Getz Buzy

7) Da Youngstas – Mad Props

6) Chi Ali – Age Ain’t Nothing But a #
Yeah, he said it… and he mean’t it… and unlike R. Kelly, he liked to date UP in age….

5) Turbo – From Breakin (the movie)
Hahaha… alright, this isn’t a kid rapper, but the kid is crazy with those breaking skills. I had to throw in the first battle video on there for all the old school heads who remember this when they were kids.

4) Jamal – Keep It Real
Hailing from the Illegal crew and Erick Sermon, this song was a classic summer track back in 95. 

3) Kris Kross - Jump
They are the sole reason that I went and copped countless starter jerseys. I never got into wearing my pants backwards because I just knew I’d be the one to piss on myself in a bathroom malfunction.

 

2) Shyheim – Shaolin Style
This track is a classic. You can tell that Meth had placed his mark on this kid. 

1) Jackson 5 – I Want You Back
Before New Edition, Tevin Campbell, and them Candy Rain dudes… Even before there was Slim, these boys started it all.  You can only Respect.

This is how it was meant to be done. Damn I miss those days.

- Slim

STHU College Football Moment - (AUBURN 42 – UTAH STATE 38)

This game was supposed to be a cupcake tasting. A payday win. Ask any of the Auburn faithful and I am sure they will tell you different.

Setting my “fandom” aside, this game was interesting from the beginning as Utah State traveled to the Plains and drove the Auburn fans into a Natural Light and Jim Bean binge.

I am sure that Chizik and Malzahn will both be sipping on something strong later this evening as well. 

(Sidenote, beware of the drunk Auburn fans, either they will be extremely excited about the win, or extremely pissed about the win.) Either way, innocent bystanders will loose.)

They were outgained in total yards, penalized more, and blown off the line defensively allowing 215 yards on the ground.

However, none of the stats matter now. One group of guys will go out and party tonight celebrating 1-0 while the other group of guys fly across the country wondering how they let one get away.

They say a win is a win, and I totally agree, but how does the Auburn faithful feel about this performance? 

Please believe every TV down in Starkville was tuned into this one.

 

I said STHU many times through this game, but after the onside kick, that H turned into a hard F.

See the full breakdown here at ESPN.

-Slim

What's Killin Em' (Raven, Nike Blazers, Blue Steel Watches)

Who's keeping it hot on the street, besides the wifey and I of course?

I had the opportunity to play catch up on my flight and see what has been going on in my absence and there are a few things that caught my eye.  Some things are not worth mentioning and some things deserve a double, better yet a triple take.

Back in the day to say "I'm gonna be killin em'" had no reference of actually taking a gun to and doing it. It simply meant you were gonna be so fly that everyone was gonna be jealous of you. You wanted people to see you and say DAAAAAMN! It's a damn shame that I even have to explain it.

So who’s Killin Em’

#1 Raven Symone is Killin Em’.  After doing a Jenny Craig, Dick Gregory, Slim Faster move, she has applied some of that ultra-million dollar income to revamp her entire wardrobe. 

Earlier this year she stated that it wasn't necessarily a diet that sparked the change, but it was her removal of stress in her life led to her weight loss.

All I know is that my son used to look at her and scream “That’s so Raven” and smile. 

Now when he sees her, he has a different type of smile along with a stare. 

Boys are growing up too fast these days, but I guess she has too.

#2 All my Sneakerheads rocking those Nike Blazer Highs is Killin Em’.  On the truth, the people who rock them the “right way” are on another level of style. 

They can set off and/or complement anything you are wearing. 

I copped that pair with the red sole and strings a few months ago on one of those crazy once in a lifetime sales. I already know when I’m gonna bring them out, but I feel like a kid the night before the first day of school.

I know you remember, setting your clothes out on the bed. Fresh shirt and jeans with the tags still on them. This was the only time you could put your shoes on the bed because they were brand new. Hell you couldn't sleep at night because you knew you were gonna KILL EM' at school the next day.

Mike Epps tells it the best....

Emporio Armani - $395

#3 Blue Steel Watches are Killin Em’.  I don’t care if you Daddy Warbucks, or if you Calvin at Mickey D’s, you can afford a hot watch. 

Now don’t get caught up on that 2 for 3 special you can find from your neighborhood hustleman. I am talking about the taking time and examining the truth in watches. 

ESQ Movado - $395

The wifey told me since I am considered a professional business and finance guy, I need to move away from the Kenneth Cole and purchase professional businessmen watches. 

It's comments like those are the reason we do not argue!

 

Of course if the pieces above are simply too cheap for you, feel free to splurge on the Rolex Submariner for $34,000. 

But don't worry,  I can get you that hookup for $27,500

 - Slim

FIVE TO THE FACE! (College Football Edition – Week 1)

I’ve been away for a few weeks due to some career changes, however it always works out for the best, and there is no way I’d rather come back than to return on the day FOOTBALL returns.

Hide ya Kids, Hide ya Wife, Hell hide everybody because SportsCenter will finally become relevant again

I am going to break down 5 games each week that will slap Vegas in the face. I don’t need to give a full breakdown and statistical analysis of coaches, weather, and whose mascot is the mustiest.

I just keep it simple and straight forward for you.


Similar to how Rick James kept real it on Charlie Murphy:

You gotta love the remix.

Now let’s get on with it:

South Florida at #16 Notre Dame
Line: Notre Dame (-10.5)

I haven’t been a Notre Dame believer for years. Even though this year may be a “special season” for the Fighting Irish, I will need to witness some woodshed beating before I believe they are actually BACK.  They may win, but I do not believe they will cover. Notre Dame 24 – South Florida 21

 

#5 Boise State vs. #19 Georgia
Line: Boise State (-3.5)

People do not seem to understand what all of this “SEC Pride” is all about. It is simple; until a playoff is implemented fans should want their conference to be considered the strongest.

In the BCS, perception is definitely a reality. And when reality sets in at the Georgia Dome Saturday evening, the scoreboard will show “HOME DAWG” landing the upset.  #19 Georgia 24 - #5 Boise State 23

 #4 LSU vs. #3 Oregon 
Line: Oregon (-4)
We saw last year how Oregon’s offense was neutralized by the size and speed of Auburn’s defense That was last year. We also saw how LSU’s defense was suffocating in their final game of the season with SEC newcomer(???) Texas A&M. That was last year.  Oregon has a LOT to prove. LSU has a coach with Ice Water in his veins.

They say Defense carries a championship team. If that is true, LSU shuts down Oregon’s championship hopes in week 1. #4 LSU 21 - #3 Oregon 17

#8 Texas A&M vs. SMU
Line: Texas A&M (15.5)

It’s time for the Aggies to prove they belong in the SEC, and please believe that there are many down south that don’t think so. They need to take EVERYONE behind the woodshed, and blister them up old school style. They start by covering easily. #8 Texas A&M 35 – SMU 10

 

Miami at Maryland
Line: Maryland (-3)

This is just bananas. Half of the Hurricanes starters will have to sit the first game, and Maryland is only favored by 3. When thinking of the U and what the U is about, Kellen Winslow sums it up the best:

After hearing that, I can only say Miami wins straight up on heart and pride alone. Miami 31 – Maryland 17

It's the most, wonderful time, of the year!

I'll check in next week.

- Slim